A fortnightly gathering for men on the Gold Coast. Honest conversation, real witnessing, and the work most of us avoid.

Why Behind the Wall exists

Men's work is not about making men more emotionally expressive, and it is not about dismantling masculinity. It is about separating mature masculinity from its defensive forms, and creating the conditions for a man to meet the parts of himself that have stayed outside the story he tells about who he is.

Many of us were raised into versions of masculinity that make vulnerability, dependence and asking for help difficult, and the cost is real. In Australia, more than three in four people who die by suicide are men (ABS, 2024). Therapy matters, but there is something it cannot fully reproduce. Parts of a man's identity are built, tested and changed between men. Men need other men.

In this room, a man speaks and the others stay present. He finds that saying the hard thing does not end in humiliation. Another man recognises himself in the story. Someone challenges him, someone witnesses him, and someone reminds him of where he has been or where he is heading. It is not just being understood by a professional. It is being known among men.

The question underneath the work is not only "Who am I?" but "What is my life in service to?" Becoming a man is a psychological, relational and cultural process, and our culture offers few places to do it consciously. Behind the Wall is one.

What happens in the room

This is not a group where men sit around and talk about their week. We sit in a circle, shoulder to shoulder, and each man has the opportunity to share whatever is present for him, whether that's everything or something small. You share as much or as little as feels comfortable. Everything is welcome and nothing is required. What is shared in the room stays in the room, and every man is asked to hold what he hears in confidence.

Behind the Wall makes room for what usually goes unsaid. Shadow material, anger, grief, embarrassment and the fear of being judged are spoken aloud, worked with and explored among men who are doing the same.

Talking is only the beginning. Processing is what creates change, as opposed to retelling the same story and having it agreed with. You will be supported, guided and encouraged to stretch yourself, always by invitation and never by force. The aim is to find your edge, expand it, express through it, and move through what so often keeps us stuck, so that you move beyond the wall rather than staying behind it.

Each evening unfolds as it needs to, and we don't force it. You'll also leave with skills and tools you can use in the rest of your life. They build your capacity to notice what is happening inside your body and emotions, to stay present with hard feelings instead of shutting down, and to bring the different parts of yourself together with greater self-awareness.

Who it's for

Behind the Wall is for men of all walks of life. You don't need to have done years of therapy. This might be your first experience of something like this, or you may have tried similar work before. You need to be 18 or over, and you need to be looking for something more.

It's for men who want connection and a place to be real. It's for men who want something different from their relationships and friendships, something more than a beer at the pub and a chat. And it's for the man who is seeking something but doesn't know what, or didn't know he needed to look for anything at all.

Every man in the room is an integral part of the experience. What happens here happens between us, not only through the facilitator.

Who it isn't for

Behind the Wall asks men to stay open and curious, so it isn't the right fit for a man who isn't prepared to do that.

It is also not the right place for you if you are currently experiencing psychosis or mania, living with active substance dependence, or actively suicidal. These situations need more support than a group can offer, and the right first step is a service built for them.

Please don't attend under the influence of any substance. If you do, you will be asked to leave.

This is not a crisis service

Behind the Wall is not a substitute or replacement for psychological treatment. The facilitator is not your personal psychologist and won't become one. If you need urgent support, you will be referred to the right service. You can also contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, MensLine Australia on 1300 78 99 78, or the Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467, all available 24 hours a day. In an emergency, call 000.

The Details

When: Every second Wednesday, 6:00 to 8:00pm.

Where: Tallebudgera Valley, Gold Coast.

Cost: Free.

Who: Men 18 or over. Capped at 8 per session.

There is no long-term commitment. Come once or come often. This is an open group, so you can join any session that has space. Registration is required so we know who is in the room, and if a session is full, you can join the waitlist.

At registration, you'll have the option to make a voluntary donation to help keep the gathering going. It is entirely optional and has no effect on your place. You'll also be asked whether you'd like to hear about future retreats, so tick that only if you're interested.

If you need to cancel, please de-register so a man on the waitlist can take your place. Do it as soon as you know, so others don't miss out.

Ready to step out from behind the wall?

You don't need the right words, and you don't need to know exactly what you're looking for. You just need to show up, and see what happens when judgement is left at the door.

It's hard, but it's worth it.